International Women's Day

Real Women of Zimbabwe would like to join you and the rest of the world in celebrating International Women's Day. Whilst we acknowledge the work that has been done in promoting the rights of women and the girl child, we feel that more  needs to be done in recognizing the difficulties and challenges women face daily. We believe that women stand out as reliable and resourceful leaders and forces that hold families and communities together. Again, it is our hope that we as women, will take it upon ourselves to love and respect  each other. We also take this time to recognize women who have dedicated their time and resources to fight for our concerns. 

Happy Women's day!

Love,

Ms B

Why marriages are failing

"Till death do us part" appear to be words with little meaning when looking at the statistics of divorces these days. Its unfortunate that too many people are jumping into marriages before  giving it much thought or preparation and before they know it, their marriage has become tattered and torn and they are facing the prospect of divorce. There are many reasons why a marriage can go bad. 

One of the most common is communication. When you decide to get married, you should marry your best friend. Someone you can talk to, confide in, and communicate with under any circumstances. That way, when life throws you curve balls, you will have a solid foundation to fall back on. Too many marriages are built on superficial things that fade with time...sex, attraction, income among other things. Those things will fade away and when they do, you are left with a stranger in your house! . First and foremost,  make sure you enjoy each other's company. A couple should communicate all their hopes and desires. They should talk about their past and how they got to that point in their life. And most importantly, they should be able to talk about Money Matters. How to earn it and how to spend it.  When money problems become more of an issue in a relationship, stronger couples are able to ride out of the storm by putting their biggest asset--their ability to talk and to adapt together--to good effect. Now, for weaker couples, this is a disaster.

Setting our expectations too high in a marriage, then having those expectations go unfulfilled, is another mistake young couples are making. Most people enter into marriage with expectations that cannot be met by their partner. We all feel justified in expecting faithfulness, loyalty, love and respect. It's when we look beyond these basic needs that things can go wrong. Some of us expect our spouse to make us feel more important, love the people they love, hate the people they hate and mostly we look outside ourselves, to our spouse, for happiness. Our spouse should make more money. She should keep the house cleaner. He should cook more often. She should shop less. He should spend more time with the kids. . . the list goes on. The problem is when we start looking for solutions to these things outside the marriage.

Everyone thinks that they can change their spouse, and that is the mistake that many young couples make. There is however, a difference between changing and refining!  While one cannot change the personality in itself, knowing what makes a your partner "tick" and learning each other's body language, can help to alter negative traits. After all, in relationships, the trick is to grow together, not really change, but grow. I am not referring to growing older, but rather to mature in wants and desires, goals and dreams, and refine them along the path of life.

Marriage takes a lot of work and compromise, but if you master the art, the joy you get is irreplaceable.

Love

Ms B

Wonder why we try to carry such heavy burdens on ourselves? Our bodies weren't built to carry so much stress. Besides, God has already worked it out! So dry your face, throw in the towel, and give God permission to take care of it and His mercy and grace will sustain you. IT'S REALLY THAT SIMPLE! Empty your mind, let go and just live in the present moment. Enjoy now! Love & Blessings.

Celebrating women

It is almost impossible to talk of the devepment of a nation and ignore the role women have played  in shaping society today. The past century has seen women proving that they are not the weaker sex anymore. Women's role in society has grown and changed dramatically over the centuries.

The sacrifices and labour our mothers and grandmothers went through are the reasons why many of us have the rights and priviledges we are enjoying today. Even the women of today sometimes fail to realise the power that is within them. As Real Women , we are excited to celebtate and acknowledge the contributions of women, particularly, the women of Zimbabwe, who, in the face of all the struggles the country has and is going through, can still do remarkable things. From the woman who is juggling between kids, homework and being a wife, to the women who is sitting in the boardroom, we celebrate you and the work you do to improve your yourself, your families and your communities. 

Today, we are asking you to celebrate women in your life. We are sure that you know of a woman out there who has achieved something incredible in their lives, and who inspire you. We should remember and respect these women as well as honouring those who are working diligently today to make significant contributions within their sphere of influence.

Love,

Ms B

Happy Holidays

As we draw closer to the end of the year, i would like to wish all you Real Women , happy holidays!!. It is my hope that with the start of a new year, we will be able to provide a more powerful view of women and their role in life, to motivate women to step out of limiting self-beliefs that keep them stuck in roles of lack of power, submissiveness, victimhood, abuse and lack of self worth.

It is from this place of self-worth and empowerment that we can look at the world as a place where we can freely express who we are and surround ourselves with people who honour love and respect us as we honour, love and respect ourselves.

Quote of the day.....

Happy holidays ladies, spread the love and laughter.


Love


Ms B

Celebrating 16 days of activism

I am pleased to join the world in celebrating the 16 days of activism against gender violence but as women, do we understand what it means and the impact it has in our lives? 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence is an international campaign originating from the first Women's Global Leadership Institute. Participants chose the dates November 25- International Day Against Violence Against Women- and December 10- International Human Rights Day- in order to symbolically link violence against women and human rights and to emphasize that such violence is a violation of human rights. This 16-day period also highlights other significant dates including November 29, International Women Human Rights Defenders Day, December 1, World AIDS Day, and December 6, which marks the Anniversary of the Montreal Massacre.

Violence against women and girls is one of the most widespread violations of human rights. It can include physical, sexual, psychological and economic abuse, and it cuts across boundaries of age, race, culture, wealth and geography. It takes place in the home, on the streets, in schools, the workplace, in farm fields, refugee camps, during conflicts and crises. It has many manifestations — from the most universally prevalent forms of domestic and sexual violence, to harmful practices, abuse during pregnancy, so-called honour killings and other types of femicide.

Around the world at least one woman in every three has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime, and of those ; black women suffer from the highest rates of domestic violence. In fact black females experience domestic violence at a rate 35% higher than that of white females. What is even more saddening is that the same statistics show that domestic violence is most prominent among women aged 16 to 24 years. Women have also been historically at the receiving end of the worst crimes committed during war time. In countries like Congo, sexual violence remains a tool of war with combatants accused of systematic rape and murder of women and children on a daily base.

These statistic indicate that there is a lot that still needs to be done to empower women and to end gender violence. In most african countries, political instability and higher rates of poverty make the problems facing domestic violence survivors more difficult to address. It is very disturbing that even today, some victims of intimate partner violence are turned away by police because they say it is a domestic issue!

So as we celebrate 16 days of activism against gender violence, women across the board should take it upon themselves to educate and support each other and look for ways to reduce exposure of women to these heinous crimes. It is important to have support groups where women encourage other women to come forward and share their stories. Women are an essential force in the fight against global poverty, violence and extremism.

In conclusion i wish to reproduce a qoute from a Senegalese author Mariama Ba in her novel So Long a Letter says:

"Women should no longer be decorative accessories, objects to be moved about, companions to be flattered or calmed with promises. Women are the nation's primary, fundamental root, from which all grows and blossoms. Women must be encouraged to take a keener interest in the destiny of the country"

My love to you ladies and a special thank you to the women who are leading the cause.


Love


Ms B

Whats wrong with these men !?

I don't know about you ladies, but I personally have read a lot of magazines on the differences between males and females and still remain mystified.. Call it curiosity but it strikes me , why the two genders, who were created to compliment and relate to each other naturally, spend more time and reasons not doing so!

But one issue that really gets to me is why men find it so hard to do simple tasks around the house. C'mon ladies, i know I'm not the only one in this. I mean, it baffles me how men can remember the result of a football game played in 1990 but will not remember what you asked him to do yesterday? I know, being African as i am , i will be pushing my luck if i ask my man to cook dinner or clean the house, but it takes a lot to get a guy to clean after themselves after a bath or to even put his own shoes in the closet , whilst on the other hand, a woman can cook, talk on the cell phone, put on makeup and watch the kids, all at the same time. And when it comes to taking care of their babies, women's multitasking abilities are phenomenal.

If this issue hits home , you are not alone.Believe it or not, this is in fact, a scientific issue.! Apparently, according to Dr. Melillo from the Brain Balance Achievement Center in USA, on average, the male brain is 10 percent bigger than females, but a woman’s brain receives 15 percent more blood and contains more nerve cells and cellular connections. The compact structure of the nerve cells may cause them to function more efficiently and effectively. Both male and female brains are divided into two hemispheres that play different roles in perception and behavior. Dr. Melillo explains that when undertaking a task, the male brain utilizes either one hemisphere or the other and relies on specialized brain regions. Women utilize both hemispheres more fluidly regardless of the task, which can explain why women tend to be better at multitasking than men.The brain balance results indicate that women tend to excel in dividing attention and performing fine motor skills, whereas men tend to excel in focusing attention on one subject or task and performing gross motor skills, such as wrestling, playing football, etc.

A motor skill is a learned sequence of movements that combine to produce a smooth, efficient action in order to master a particular task
Gross motor skills include lifting one's head, rolling over, sitting up, balancing, crawling, and walking. Gross motor development usually follows a pattern
Fine motor skills include the ability to manipulate small objects, transfer objects from hand to hand, and various eye–hand coordination task.Some examples of fine motor skills are using the pincer grasp (thumb and forefinger) to pick up small objects, cutting, colouring, writing, or threading beads.

I hope this makes sense , but if it doesn't,just know that truly the relationship between a male and female is all about acceptance, understanding and allowance of natural growth. Accepting each gender for who they are and how they think instead of trying to stifle or change who they are or how they think is how nature meant it to be.Using acceptance, trust and love when we decide to commit to a relationship will guide you in the direction of nature's course.

So lets keep the faith ladies, and please, feel free to comment. I want to hear your thoughts on this issue. 

love 

Ms B.